It’s been so long.

I’ve been yearning to write here for awhile now, but I’m tired of explaining. ‘Cause the mourning period is over and I try not to think about how he left us and how I’m feeling and how the family is coping with our loss. Some of my friends who read this space doesn’t know what happened and I don’t want them to text me and ask what went wrong. I’m not trying to put up a brave front here and act like nothing’s wrong in front of my friends who knew. It’s just that I try not to get reminded of him, but all his memories keep rushing back to me. There is not one day I live without missing him. I miss him so damn much.

But life goes on, you know? There’s no way we could rewind it no matter how much we’d like to. If someone were to ask me what’s my biggest regret, I’ll say that is when we noticed that he’s been coughing for quite awhile but nobody in the family did anything. That will forever remain as the greatest regret of my life.

Sometimes, or more than often, we take the people around us for granted. So damn granted. Just because when we were born, our parents were around, we assumed that they will always be around. No doubt we have heard about the fact that parents do pass away, but we tell ourselves that that’s not going to happen so quickly to me. Definitely not me. At least not so soon. Look at me, from the time when we knew about the cancer till the day he left, it took less than a year. It was too soon.

It’s really late and I don’t want to make myself feel sad. Guess I shall end here. I didn’t come here to type out these things, but it just came pouring out. Friends who didn’t know, please don’t text me and ask me what happened. I am fine, I am smiling and laughing everyday. It is those moments when you’re doing something and you suddenly realized you used to do these things together with him hurts. Something pierced your heart out of nowhere and then tears filled up your eyes. But I am strong and I am fine. I’m glad he is now living without any pain. I know he’s happy and I hope he’s happy.

It’s really late and I’m sure I’m feeling really drowsy, if this post doesn’t make any sense, don’t worry. I am really strong and I’m really moving on. I’ll be okay.

:(

 

Bad things have to happen at home when I’m in China. I call home about five times a day just to be updated. It sucks when there’s nothing I can do except for worrying. I wish I am in sg, at least I could help. At least, I’m with my family. & now I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen and it’s terrifying. Please please please just let everything be okay. It’s been so long since I’ve heard news that are assuring.

Sigh.

Can i not go?

it hit me that I’m really leaving, and I am so unprepared. just came back from Miri this morning and had been way too exhausted to start packing anything. every night I countdown and I think bout my family and it makes me not want to go. how can I leave for so long when there are people here who needs me to take care of them and giving them emotional and physical support? I feel so bad leaving at a time like this, when everything is unsure and everyone’s still so worried. 18 weeks should fly by real quick, I kept telling myself that, but I’m the only person who doesn’t believe in that. Truth is, I’m pretty excited in leaving. I love traveling and this is my chance to go out there and experience the cold weather, their food, their lifestyle. Also to know how is it like studying abroad, staying in a hostel cus these two things are smthg which I wouldn’t try if I had a chance. I am too homely. My friends, they can’t wait to go there bc they wanna enjoy their freedom. But I don’t need that, I already have my freedom, I need my family more than I need freedom. My head is aching like nobody’s business but I can’t bear to sleep. Cus tomorrow’s my last day in Singapore and I’m worried bout something. Wish this trip happened two years ago, then, I could leave without a care in the world.

I guess it’s just my emotional self typing away. Missing Leong and overthinking in the middle of the night. I’ll just watch a couple of episodes of friends to cheer me up before I head to bed with my exploding head.

Hectic week w/o pictures!

 

 

Trust me, I wanted to blog so badly. But wordpress chose to fail me on one of these rarest days.

I have successfully completed my last presentation and last examination in NP. I’m happy and also sad at the same time, my poly life just flew by me and I’m left with one more semester to go.

That means to say, I have 5 more days before I leave my sunny island, and I am so reluctant to go.

😦

While preparing for my paper, I told myself, what I really wanted to do when I regained my freedom is to read. Plain reading. Sitting by the windows/on the bed/on the couch just to read. To flip the pages and to smell the smell of book and feel the pages’ edge and listening to the rustle of the flipping of pages. I just want to read.

On Monday, I have 1.5 hrs flight to do so, I’m so glad. I really need some alone time.

🙂

Time speeds like a Ferrari.

Everyone’s busying preparing for the big presentation on thursday and the even bigger exam on friday. But in the midst of preparation, it suddenly hit me that the presentation is going to be my final presentation in NP, and the last lesson we are having in NP, and the exam would be final paper I’ll be taking in NP. Two years in NP flew by me and I hardly noticed, there’s nothing to complaine about this school except for the hills and slopes. But other than that, the system is pretty amazing and I like what I’m studying.

Getting a little emotional for the fact that I’ll no longer return to NP after friday… for lessons. And for the fact that we’ve been complaining about Makan Place for the longest time,  I guess I will miss the food one day. Glad the classmates are still going to spend 4.5 months tgt in faraway China. Still, NP, you’ve been great, thanks for the chance you’ve given me 🙂

Loves of my life!

Looking at my friends’ fb statuses made me realized if I have stayed in RP, I would have done with poly today. & I wouldn’t need to go to China for 4 and 1/2 months. & I would have a chance to study in Uni directly after graduation.

But on the other hand, I’m pretty sure my grades in RP wouldn’t get me to direct admission to Uni. & that the rest of my RP days will be as miserable as the my 2nd semester there. & although I don’t have to leave Sg for 4.5 months, but I’ll be stuck in hell for 3 whole years.

So so glad I made the choice to leave, even though the days when I have no idea where I’m going to continue schooling were terrifying. My 2nd and last semester in RP was hell, I skipped school 3 out of 5 days and then I partial-ed on days when I went to school. I don’t ever remember hating school so much in my entire life. And then I remembered these two sillies who were there webcamming with me during lessons just to pull me through classes.

Loves of my life 🙂

& now that Kev has ended his favourite internship ever, and Pris has 10 more days to go before her torturing internship ends, (which is on the day I leave for China), they will officially graduated from RP too! So proud of them, throughout the 3 years, I thought Kev is definitely going to get expelled bcus of his attendance HAHA. But he didn’t, so proud of you Kev!

❤

 

Thursday, on the last day of CNY, we met and had steamboat and impromptu-ly order a plate of dumplings cus it was 元宵节 & then that stupid Pris don’t want to eat. TSK.

& then we had B&J’s! 90% of our outings consist of steamboats + ice cream. No idea whose going to eat these yummy stuff with me when I’m back from China and Pris is away in Gold Coast studying & Kev will be in camp. Ah, things are changing 😦

 

Only the Thick Lips Duo are present cus the third thick-lipped is trying on sportswear. -.-

She was the one who inspired me to put braces! & now we both have straight teeth, wheehee!

I paid $8.90 for my Banana Fudge Royale, and Kev asked “wah $8.90 ah, why so expensive?” and I said happily, “cus got bananas, hehe.” Then Kev said, “wahlau $8.90 for bananas? You gimme $2 I buy a bunch for you ah!”

WHY, WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME? 😦 I’m just trying to indulge in something yummy………….

Rewind a year or two years back when we suggested taking our BTTs together, but things happened and we haven’t got the time. Pris persisted, and got her Driver’s Licence first, then Kev got his Rider’s Licence at the end of last year and I finally got mine last week! Yay! 😀

 

Last but not least, 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers to 3cheers!

❤ you guys so so much!

 

Oh & that’s not the end, haha, as usual Pris went home at 9m (yawnz), then Kev and I roamed ard Amk and he introduced me to this Super BBT. The pearls were great! It comes with different flavours, I had Plum Green Tea so I chose plum pearls to go with it, when you munch on the pearls, the plum juice will spurt out and it’s just NICE. 🙂

Can try!

 

Okay, last of the very very last but not least,

I post this picture up so as to give a pat on my back on having the most amazing boyfriend ever! Seriously, if you need any advice just turn to him. Being 9 years older means 9 times wiser yet 9 times more fun and more sensible than any other average guys. I love you, thank you for being the best friend and best boyfriend anyone can ever get.

I lovey dovey you!

❤

Travelogue: Mr & Mrs Kedongdong goes to Kuching!

It started off as a Thank-you post for my sweetheart, but it triggered me to upload the backdated pictures, which inspired me to blog about it cus I’m (finally) in the mood to do so.

Here goes:

On 2009, after our long-distance r/s started, we couldn’t be with each other on both Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Though I did spend NYE with a bunch of good friends, it felt different bcus NYE was our day. We spent 2007’s NYE sitting by the waters and talking to each other till the crack of dawn. First cuddle, first holding of hands, and two days later, we got together. 🙂

My 2010 was terrible. Worst year of my life, and I blamed it to the fact that we didn’t spend NYE together. Haha, I’m superstitious like that. So last year, we decided that we have to countdown together no matter what it takes (or how much it costs). After calculating all expenses, we decided to head out to Kuching for a short getaway!

First meal in Kuching:

Loklok!

We ❤ loklok! It was so nice, we walked all the way to the shop close to midnight just to curb our craving. Hmm, maybe we should open a stall that sells loklok next time!

 

The next day, we went shopping at their newest shopping mall, Spring, which is quite empty as compared to malls in Sg. Baby went to make new glasses while I asked for a test on my eyes. Bcus before I left, my mom insisted that I have lao hua! 😦

But look! Perfect eyesight still. Wheehee, and I repeatedly asked the guy if I have lao hua and he replied in a calm tone: “You won’t get laohua until you are 40.”

Hahahaha, hokay then!

 

From our hotel, there’s this gravel shortcut which leads to the main road, and the wall says “This is Sarawak, not M’sia!”, and being the Sarawakian, baby insisted that I have to take a picture with it. Don’t know for what, hahaha.

After a long day of shopping, went back to hotel and started taking photographs!

His chest can dance. HAHA.

I love Cambodia, I really do! That’s my fave PJ tee 😀

 

Third day,

um I believe all we did was chilling around Kuching cus there’s nothing left for us to do. Haha, okay the motive to travel all the way there is to relax and spend time with each other, so don’t blame us for not fully utilizing our itinery!

That’s the last day of 2010!

 

At night, we went to this place below our hotel for our last dinner there.

& it reminded me so much of Cambodia bcus of the setting! The hut, and the ambience. So nice! 😀

❤

The drink above is called “Kedongdong”. Allow me to explain to you,  so this trip there, we kept seeing the word “Kedongdong” which we did not encounter our first time there. Out of curiosity, we ordered it that night, and Baby test-drank it and gave me a super squishy face saying it’s really bad to drink!

Haha, he’s damn suay, he always kenna this kind of thing. Actually, I forgot what exactly happened after the sip, but it remained super funny to us and we don’t know why. Ah, boliao people are like that. Ha.

 

Finally, our dinner arrived!

This was damn nice! It was spicy, and it was cold! It’s something we have never tasted before, and it was quite fun to eat. Getting your hands dirty and experiencing the freshness of the cockles… Yum!

But then…

this turned out to be even more Yum! It looked like Loh Hei, but it’s not. It’s Thai style Tomyam Tanghoon, wahlau I tell you this one is superb! It’s sweet and sour and spicy and it’s tanghoon! This is damn nice, but I don’t think I can find it here in Singapore. Damn! 😦

 

Not long after the dinner, the clock struck 12 (…and the mice came down) when we are back in our room. We could view the pretty fireworks from all around our hotel, and it was displayed at different timings so it was non-stop. 🙂

Didn’t manage to capture any nice ones though.

 

On the last day, my flight was finally earlier than his. If not, he’s always leaving me at some strange lands heartbroken and all alone. We both checked in and spent the last few minutes with each other at the boarding gate until when I really needed to board the flight. 😦

& rmbr I told you how he was suay? His 9am flight was rescheduled first till 11am, and then twice to 2pm! Seriously ah… hahaha this guy has no luck. I think he used up all when he managed to get me as his girlfriend! Wahpiang, haha okay I’m hungry… bye!

Slackday!

WHY YOU SO HANDSOME?

… and die so early 😦

 

today is my r & r day… finally! i get to sleep till 1plus, have lunch w my folks, hand up my visa, went shopping & gotten myself that leopard pumps! came home and walked the dog, now that i’m assignment-free for one day… i finally get to watch all leslie cheung’s videos whee hee hee.

 

If only more days could be like today,

phew! today we have finally finished off one major presentation & glad to say that we did quite a pretty good job 🙂

Off to meet my yep gang aft sch & had dinner at burger shack… which was so-so only but the ambience wasnt bad! Ended up doing what we do best by chit-chatting for hours before we had to head home 🙂 ❤ them!

Lost in translation

happily lying on bed at 2.30am while surfing Facebook on the phone, felt puzzled when my classmates were talking bout printing out some assignment. Decided to check out the submission date and got the shock of my life — TOMORROW.

Was sprung awake and immediately started working on my adv. translation assignment. Feeling kinda stupid cus no one mentioned anything bout this assignment at all! I checked up and down for announcements that said that it’s been postponed to a later date but there was no sign of it 😦 so I did my last-minute assignment and finally got it all done at 5am sharp.

I still have driving lesson at 10 later on… Hope I don’t fall asleep while driving, heehee. Nighty-night!